So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
