Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
