your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
