i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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