Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
