Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
