There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There are leaves in my underwear?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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