eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
