he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
