today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
