great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
