I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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