yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
