Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im holly from the hills drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize