I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
