what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
