This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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