gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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