oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
