it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
