We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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