just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
