I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize