You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
