i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
