he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
