i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
