He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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