Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
