You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
