Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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