Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
