I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
