can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
