Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
