is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
