Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
