I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
