i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize