Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
