the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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