I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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