do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Watching her eat just hurts me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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