I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
