Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
