Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
