Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
