At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
