Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i've created a new STD.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize