idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
