Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
