Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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