If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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