are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
