3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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