I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
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