can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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