I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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