I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i out mim tonsoeep
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