OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
