He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Help. Why am I so naked?
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