it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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